bells1492

thinspo timeee

slender and artistic... this is beautiful and quirky at the same time

sad and gorgeous. her neck is amazing

love this

dancer. i hope ill look like this while dancing someday

♥

i hate myself. i hate my mind. i hate my body. i have been so fucking lazy today. i have so much homework and i should have worked all day on it but because i am lazy and gluttonous and gross i left it all and now i have to get it all done tonight and tomorrow. i am looking in the mirror and all i see is fat. fat, fat, fat everywhere. ive been putting so much shit into my body i can hardly stand it. who even knows how many calories im eating now. and you know the aggravating thing? its gonna take for-fucking-ever to loose more weight. even if i have full control today, and tomorrow, and the next day, it wont even make a difference. thats infuriating. its like, well why even make an effort? im just gonna stop looking at myself in the mirror. i seriously cant even put this hatred into words anymore. some days i feel skinny, some days i feel huge and obese, i cant take it. there are so many emotions going through me right now i cant even explain it. i feel so out of control. envy anger hatred disgust desire make it stop! i hate him. i cant even say his name in case someone ever finds this (which wouldnt happen but im paranoid) but i HATE HIM i just hate him i hate everything about him. he is rude and mean and gross. he takes just enough space, i take up too much. ok, i have to stop.

ok last post of the day i promise. i just really need some thinspo right now. im gonna post some everyday from now on. the ones i really like, so that everytime i look at my journal ill be inspired.


aww she's gorgeous. what an amazing chest bone.


look. at. her. thighs. that is perfection.


lovely

( HUGE rant )
after all this has passed, i still will remain.
after i've cried m last... there'll be beauty from pain.
-superchick

( more pics )
i am so fat. so fat. look at my arms in the second picture. seriously that makes me want to throw up. i want lipo.

( binge )
i hate myself. so much.

so people told me never to post pictures of myself but fuck it :]



^this would be me with no makeup on, excuse my ugly nose that pops out of my face.



^another face picture. guys please give me your honest opinion here. pretty? ugly? i honestly dont know anymore, ive heard so many different things... keep in mind my skin is A LOT worse now.



^tummy. keep in mind im stretched out.



^legs. FINALLY down to a zero! that makes me way too happy



^sorry you guys are probably bored but i like this one.



^sorry for the ugly bra teehee



^back. the only part of my body i like.



^and a last one for all the art freaks out there. you know who you are! so yeah. i might post more for myself. constructive critisism is greatly appreciated. if your mean, ill just delete your comment- simple as that. thanks guysss <3

ok so i guess im gonna start blogging about my anorexia/weight etc. i just hope no one at school ever sees this... wow that would be BAD. Anyway i find it kind of weird that I'm writing all of this for no one to see... but if anyone is reading my posts feel free to comment or IM me (aim-eliebelly92) im always here for support, related or unrelated to EDs. So i think im gonna start the 2468 diet, ive heard its really effective.. then maybe ill ACTUALLY lose a little weight... i weighed yesterday and FREAKED OUT because i had only lost ONE POUND in like a month i seriously wanted to scream. im just trying to regain control right now, and i guess ill start the diet tomorrow. or maybe ill do a fast? anyway i am NOT giving up this time until i gain FULL control over myself... i hate that feeling of messiness. im strong now, and im ready.

"as i was walking through a life one morning, the sun was out, the air was warm, but oh, i was cold"

yum coffeeeeeeeeeee

ive never blogged before.  how sad is that